Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrity Football Fans

6. Danny Dyer. West Ham. “It’s all about ya manor ain’t it?” Erm is it? Dyer’s a typical “cor blimey guv’nor” type who loves to tell anyone who’ll listen just how much he loves West Ham and his “manor.”  Dyer’s actually a very useful actor in the sense that you immediately know any film featuring him is to be avoided at all costs.

Watching Dyer attempting to be Ross Kemp in the Real Football Factories was almost as bad as watching Outlaw, Adulthood, Severance or City Rats.

5. David Cameron. Aston Villa. Man of the people Cameron naturally has to support a football team otherwise the ‘uber rich detached from reality’ mask may slip somewhat. Fortunately for the Prime Minister his uncle used to own Aston Villa and was kind enough to take young David there as a boy.

Speaking on the eve of the 2008 Champions League final Cameron said:

“The first game I ever went to was an Aston Villa game and so I am an Aston Villa fan. We have had a pretty good season ourselves.

“I don’t really mind who wins the Champions League.” Nor it seems does he mind who wins general elections.

4. The Gallagher Brothers. Manchester City. Where do you start with Burnage’s answer to the Jacksons? The constant “we support Manchester City, not United” interviews during the 90’s, the poses in front of 5-1 graffiti wearing their beloved City shirts, the idea that the club were actually considering having Oasis on their shirts. It seems the Gallaghers are typical of most City fans, sad, deluded and very very bitter oh and successful so long ago many can’t even remember it anymore.

I remember attending an Oasis gig at Maine Road- complete with tickets of the band sat in the stands wearing City coats- I kid you not- on the day United beat Bolton 5-0 at Old Trafford to all but seal a third title in four years. Great memories, to be fair a great band- but very annoying fans. They loved Manchester that much they now both live in London.

3. Micky Quinn. Liverpool. There’s something amazingly aggravating about listening to a former professional footballer who was never quite good enough to play for his boyhood club, banging on about them at every opportunity. Quinn’s stint on Talksport has seen him recently dribbling on in his ‘lovable Scouse’ brogue about how ‘King Kenny’ is actually going to win  the League with Liverpool next season. Quinn seems to devote his air time to doing what all Liverpool fans do, pretending that the Anfield outfit are still one of the biggest forces in football regardless of the evidence- or lack of it- to support his archaic views.

It takes a special type of man to be more annoying than Adrian Durham and Darren Gough, but Quinn manages this with ease. So bad he actually makes me appreciate Mike Parry a lot more.

2. Tony Blair. Newcastle United. The former Prime Minister got himself into a lot of silly bother- and no I’m not talking about his cash for peerages scandal- by claiming he watched the great Jackie Milburn play for Newcastle as a boy. The fact that Blair would have been four and was at the time living in Australia when “Wor Jackie” retired was besides the point.

Blair was quick to defend himself once his fib had been exposed, something which would come in useful at the Iraq inquiry.

1. Piers Morgan. Arsenal. Is there a more annoying man on the planet than the former News of the World editor? He seems to revel in the fact he’s a complete tw*t. His twitter arguments with Sugar are bad enough, but some of the garbage he used to spout in his Times column and now insists on tweeting were equally bad.

“I saw Arsene and told him what he’s doing wrong”  is just the sort of drivel Morgan’s readers are accustomed to. I’m only relieved he’s not a United fan as I couldn’t bear the thought of him acting like he gives a toss about The Reds which would infuriate me even more than his anti-United nonsense.

Constantly left with egg on his face with his silly predictions and misinformed rantings. Thank god he’s moved to America where he can no doubt bore all the Yanks to death with his ‘witty banter.’

Morgan’s recently been involved in a war of tweets with Rio Ferdinand that culminated in a false ‘cyber bullying’ rumour, which the part-time Gooner naturally reveled in. A prime example of an upper class twerp with no knowledge of football jumping on the bandwagon. Actually makes David Cameron’s  ‘support’ of Aston Villa seem passionate.

FOR MORE BARELY COHERENT RANTING FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @JAYMOTTY AND REDFLAGFLYINGHIGH WHICH FEATURES WRITERS A LOT MORE TALENTED THAN I AM @RFFH

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4 responses to “Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrity Football Fans”

  1. Wooderbeen says:

    Re: The Gallaghers… “They loved Manchester that much they now both live in London.” Too… much… irony… United… London… cockneys… arrrggghhh!

    Agreed with the rest mind you, especially numero uno.

  2. Scott says:

    Hahahahahahaha! Good form Justin, good form.

    Great read!

  3. marky boy says:

    Def the gallaghers and samuel jackson

  4. seks.pl says:

    I wish Jamie carragher luck in his next job