Date: 13th May 2011 at 12:31pm
Written by:

Sir Alex Ferguson

Fergie - facing prison should United win tomorrow

Following news that the circus masquerading as English football’s governing body have decided to punish Sir Alex Ferguson for complimenting referee Howard Webb, comes another bombshell from Lancaster Gate mental hospital.

The FA have decided to take action against Sir Alex should United clinch their 19th title tomorrow against Blackburn.

An invisible source at the FA said:
“The powers that be have taken time off from watching the cricket to decide that enough is enough when it comes to Ferguson’s domination of English football.

“Winning titles is okay if you have the decency to only do it now and again, but 12 titles in 18 years is quite frankly taking the p*ss.

“Should United avoid defeat against Blackburn then contrary to paragraph five, sub section two, added on post-it note b- that states: “if Ferguson wins another title he will be punished” the United boss can expect a fine of around three trillion pounds and six months imprisonment.”

The FA are determined that Ferguson cannot be allowed to carry on winning trophies unabated without fear of repercussions.

Another FA source was wheeled out of his retirement home to comment: “Ever since the days of Sir Alf Ramsey, we’ve had gentleman managers in this country, it’s not like that nowadays, you can’t even leave your door open, I blame immigration, three pound I paid for some beef the other day and it was off, there’s nowt good on the telly either whatever happened to Morecombe and Wise, now they were entertainers.”

Ferguson only recently finished serving a five match ban for criticising referee Martin Atkinson after his completely inept performance during the United Chelsea clash gifted the West Londoners all three points.

A United source labelled the FA’s latest threat “bizarre”



10 responses to “Sir Alex Ferguson Facing Prison Sentence For Winning Title”

  1. RedScot says:

    PMSL. Jail is to long term and it cost’s the tax payer dont you know!
    I much prefer ED’s suggestion on United Rant, just electrocute him a bit, much more economical.

  2. Danny Salford Red says:

    Just when you think its physically impossible for the FA to make themsleves look any more inept or any more like they have an axe to grind with Fergie. Literally speechless

    • RedScot says:

      Long time no see Danny(on United forums) how are you mate?It is a disgrace what is happening bye simply offering your view on a subject when asked!If only George Orwell could see what has transpired.
      Anyways, nothing we can do about it.I suppose you can only laugh and turn the other cheek.
      This article is meant to be a laugh, after all it is Friday night, before a huge game for United.A bit of capering and banter.

  3. Danny Salford Red says:

    Hey Scot hows it going mate? Ive been about as there has been too much cack written about Fergie and the boys to not take some of these nobs on other sites to task 🙂 What sticks in my throat is other teams fans still unable to admit that the FA have been treating us like sh*t. As you say though pal Friday it is so time for a wee swally 😉

    • RedScot says:

      Ano what you mean Danny regards the other lads , from other Clubs, just jealous mate.I got in the most hellish debate the other night mate in the Transfer Tavern.I should say if you want something to watch while on the bevvy.Try the Busby way, there is a cracking set of video’s their on the Busby Babes.Its awesome….take a kleenex with you.
      On the jungle juice masell you ken!
      I winnae dae ma Rab.c.Nesbitt impression on line the night! lol.Frank(Truly Reds) is nae around to tease!

  4. Legend-11 says:

    Well I’d like to say I’m surprised at news they’re charging him over praising Webb, but I’m not. There is a clear ABU agenda at the FA, they have an ex Man City exec in the big chair and they no longer even care how obvious they’re being. All they have managed though is to give Sir Alex the opening line of his team talks: “They’re all out to stop you!”
    So I’d like to thank the FA, the media and Man City’s advertising department for their snidey “Welcome to Manchester” poster. You have all been invaluable in spurring the lads and the boss on. Thanks!

    • RedScot says:

      I am not sure if Sir Alex needs a spurr.Sir Matt told the players just go out and play!.Sir Alex tells the team, go out and fucking win.
      The Abu agenda has been going on for years mate, its not just recent, with officials.I understand since United ventured into Europe the FA , have issues with United.Reducing their flag ship cup, the FA cup to immaterial.So.
      All politics and playing the game.

  5. RedScot says:

    City can have it.Not reducing the FA cup to nothing, United’s most favoured cup.Not important this year is it!Well apart from the Potters pit the twats to the sword.Innit.
    Show no mercy Pullis and Ryan Shawcross and thon lad that throws the ball miles Delapadated or summit.

  6. kunal says:

    having a ex manchester cheaty chairman(david bernstein) is benefiting the cheats.. manchester cheaty wudnt even hav reached the final let alone win it.. FA chairman is after man utd like a crazy dog.. people shud protest against these double standards of FA