Date: 20th May 2011 at 11:27am
Written by:

Ian Holloway

The reserved boss makes himself chuckle during a press conference

I imagine that like myself, many other Reds will feel a slight confliction watching the game on Sunday.

Yes we want United to win, as always but it will be something of a shame if our victory costs Blackpool their place in the Premier League.

These past nine months have seen Blackpool occupy a small place in my heart, not for any real footballing prowess –although their games often entertain, but more due to the fact they have a manager who quite simply is comedy gold when it comes to interviews.
Here’s my own personal top ten fave quotes from the maddest manager since that fan punching legend Brian Clough.

10. “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.”

As soon as he moved to Bloomfield road we knew there were going to be fireworks.

9. “Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We’d never hear the end of it!”

Holloway ensures his place on the Beckham’s Christmas card list.

8. “Well obviously they’re so important, that we’ll have to change when we play our tournament. It’s so vital that they have our tournament that belongs to the world and I think I’m a world person aren’t I, I come from England.

“So we’ll just change everything ‘cos your weather’s really hot. Cos we can’t play it when we should do.

“Brilliant. If it was up to me heads would roll and I know which head it would be and I’d love to do it. Why don’t we let the people in charge of Blackburn do it, they seem to like sacking people.

“Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.”

“Wait till I get home and tell my turkeys were moving Christmas.”

Holloway puts in a late bid for FIFA committee membership following the decision to award Qatar the 2022 world cup.

7. “It’s been an absolute living nightmare, to be honest. It is just ludicrous, I don’t see who it benefits at all.

“When my wife’s shopping, we need some milk and bread on a regular basis. We can’t buy it all at the start and then wait until January because it would have all gone off.”

On the January transfer window. That’s that pretty much summed up then.

6. “If he’s worth £ 4mil I’m a Scotsman called Mctavish”

Holloway expresses his delight at Liverpool’s bid for Charlie Adam.

5. “He’s not maimed, he’s not blown up like any of our heroes in the war. He’s a goalie and he’ll be all right pretty soon. “

Holloway puts Matt Gilks serious knee injury into perspective and offer s a bit of sympathy.

4. Reporter: Ian, have you got any injury worries? Holloway: “No, I’m fully fit, thank you.”

Holloway gives a succinct answer for once.

3. “I’ve killed some of my cockerels this week.

“I like living where I’m living (in the country) and I ended up with 14 of them.

“I had to stand on a broom (presumably on its neck) and I had to do something that took their life away. If I was soft and hadn’t done the first one, I couldn’t have carried on and done the rest of them.

“I think if we did anything wrong today we didn’t step on the broom and we didn’t pull hard enough at the right time in the game to get us the win I felt we could get.

“So well done to West Brom. Not only did they get up, they ran off and took our female cockerels away from us, didn’t they? So you get what I’m saying?”

Post-match analysis following the 3-2 defeat at West Brom that’s still being worked out by the reporters who attended.

2. “Man love? Man flu I’ve heard of. Let’s just get this straight, no no no don’t go there. Let’s just get this straight.

“On a looks front my wife’s got a lot more about her than H’ but on a managerial front he takes some beating.”

Holloway when asked if there was any man love between himself and ‘Arry Redknapp.

1. “The game is wrong the people in charge of the game are wrong.

“Alex Ferguson is being bullied by a player and his agent, how wrong is the game? They say it’s not fair on the player. Rubbish.

“The player has had his wages every week. They bought him, they worked with him, he belongs to them. It’s so obvious. “

Holloway makes himself instantly liked by United fans all over the world.



One response to “Ian Holloway’s Top Ten Quotes”

  1. Sam says:

    No 1. Needs a video of the interview. Pure. I’ll be very disappointed if Blackpool go down. Just for his comedy value.