Some people may know that I am a bit of a Mystic Meg, so here are my predictions for the 2011/12 season.
- Bebe to score 25 goals at Besiktas.
- 7 Premier League managers to be sacked.
- Fernando Torres to score less than 15 goals in all competitions.
- Number 20.
- Wayne Rooney to become addicted to hair transplants and unveil his ‘Andy Carroll’
- Swansea, Wigan and Newcastle to be relegated.
- David Platt’s forehead to declare independence from England.
- Darren Bent to get the Golden Boot.
- The most goals to be scored in the history of the Premiership.
- Youssouf Mulumbu to be the most booked Premier League player.
- Jack Wilshere to be arrested 3 times.
- Alex Song to receive the most red cards.
- Tom Cleverley to get an International cap.
- Neil Warnock to win the most manager of the month awards.
- Mario Balotelli to wear Velcro boots due to his difficultly tying laces.
- Antonio Valencia to lead the assists table.
- Robin Van Persie to win Player of the season.
- Fabio Da Silva to win Young Player of the season.
- Neil Warnock to win Manager of the season.
- Fulham to win the Fair Play league.
- Norwich to come bottom of the fair play league.
- Darron Gibson to score a 30 yard screamer against Manchester United at Old Trafford.
- Gary Neville and Mike Summerbee to come to blows live on Sky Sports on derby day.
- Arsenal to win the FA cup.
- Spurs to win the Carling Cup.
- Manchester United to win the Champions League.
- Ashley Cole to upgrade to a Bazooka and take out 39 work experience guys at the training ground.
- Manchester City to finish out side the Top 4.
- Oliver Holt to finally get a haircut.
- 356 Super injunctions.
- 1 club to go in to administration.
- Kolo Toure to test positive for excess Dolly Mixture and receive a life sweet shop ban.
- QPR to get in to Europe.
- The RSPCB to warn Arsene Wenger about his behaviour towards the teams water bottles.
- Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Spurs to make up the Top 4.
- An inflatable sheep to score against Liverpool for Swansea.
- Manchester City to open their own Tattoo Parlour. Unfortunately, they hire a dyslexic tattoo artist.
- Ivory Coast to win the African Cup of Nations.
- Lazio to win the Europa League.
- Justin Mottershead to finally buy a round. (that’ll never happen.ed)
Burn the witch!
man city owners to finally admit they bought the wrong team ib manchester.
teves to finally leave city (instead of crying to get his own way.
lawro to masterbate on a photo of kenny dalgliesh.
and alan shearer realises he will never win anything as a manager.
Arsenal arent gna win anything next season, they just dont look mentaly tough enough to win anything. And theyl probably have another season with a captain who doesnt take pride in wearing the Arsenal jersey. Infact i dont see them getting into the top 4 next season! I reckon Chelsea, Man Utd, Tottenham and liverpool will be in the top 4 next season.
I actually think Torres is going to get back to his old self next season. He’s gna probably struggle upto christmas and then start scoring goals for fun from January onwards.
I reckon Tottenham are the dark horses for next season. I reckon their gna be qualify for champions league footy again and i reckon theyl win either an fa cup or a carling.
Here’s a cert.
We;ve been conned again, by that Glazers shagger Gill. Modric to the RentBoyz. Sanchez to Barca and a rummage in the bargain basement fot United. We’re not going to buy anyone. No Sneijder. No Modric. No Sanchez. No Nasri. No Midfielders. No Champions League. Only criminal negligence.
U r right..I knew that…..ShiT! We need someone who knows to keep the ball… It’s not everything about running … Many teams will stretch us as barca..