"I see the numbers 5, 12, 23, 41, 42 and 46"
Some people may know that I am a bit of a Mystic Meg, so here are my predictions for the 2011/12 season.
- Bebe to score 25 goals at Besiktas.
- 7 Premier League managers to be sacked.
- Fernando Torres to score less than 15 goals in all competitions.
- Number 20.
- Wayne Rooney to become addicted to hair transplants and unveil his ‘Andy Carroll’
- Swansea, Wigan and Newcastle to be relegated.
- David Platt’s forehead to declare independence from England.
- Darren Bent to get the Golden Boot.
- The most goals to be scored in the history of the Premiership.
- Youssouf Mulumbu to be the most booked Premier League player.
- Jack Wilshere to be arrested 3 times.
- Alex Song to receive the most red cards.
- Tom Cleverley to get an International cap.
- Neil Warnock to win the most manager of the month awards.
- Mario Balotelli to wear Velcro boots due to his difficultly tying laces.
- Antonio Valencia to lead the assists table.
- Robin Van Persie to win Player of the season.
- Fabio Da Silva to win Young Player of the season.
- Neil Warnock to win Manager of the season.
- Fulham to win the Fair Play league.
- Norwich to come bottom of the fair play league.
- Darron Gibson to score a 30 yard screamer against Manchester United at Old Trafford.
- Gary Neville and Mike Summerbee to come to blows live on Sky Sports on derby day.
- Arsenal to win the FA cup.
- Spurs to win the Carling Cup.
- Manchester United to win the Champions League.
- Ashley Cole to upgrade to a Bazooka and take out 39 work experience guys at the training ground.
- Manchester City to finish out side the Top 4.
- Oliver Holt to finally get a haircut.
- 356 Super injunctions.
- 1 club to go in to administration.
- Kolo Toure to test positive for excess Dolly Mixture and receive a life sweet shop ban.
- QPR to get in to Europe.
- The RSPCB to warn Arsene Wenger about his behaviour towards the teams water bottles.
- Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Spurs to make up the Top 4.
- An inflatable sheep to score against Liverpool for Swansea.
- Manchester City to open their own Tattoo Parlour. Unfortunately, they hire a dyslexic tattoo artist.
- Ivory Coast to win the African Cup of Nations.
- Lazio to win the Europa League.
- Justin Mottershead to finally buy a round. (that’ll never happen.ed)