With the Charity, sorry Community Shield less than a fortnight away, the giddiness has started to well and truly kick in as the season approaches.
No more sitting up till daft o’clock to watch United give an exhibition against a team barely good enough for the Unibond.
No more listening to the tedious promises of City and Liverpool fans and pundits stating with serious faces: “this is gonna be our year.”
No more extra five a side games, even if it kills me as a method to fill the gaping void left by a lack of football to watch.
Hurrah, hurrah and thrice hurrah! The season is nearly upon us- thank fook.
There are many reaason for United fans to be excited the upcoming football calender, a trio of new signings, the return of messrs Welbeck and Cleverley, the trepidation of having to watch a Scholes-less side which can sometimes manifest itself into
a peverse curiosity. Going for a twentieth title! Am I the only Red who thinks we should wear two gold stars if we win it to symbolise two times ten titles ala Juventus?
Yet while all the aforementioned factors are guaranteed to make me quiver with titillation there is one as yet unmentioned reason the new season cannot start soon enough.
The reason I’m positively agitated with longing for the season to begin?
Luís Carlos Almeida da Cunha.
Nani may not be everyone’s cup of tea with his cringe-worthy theatrics and his often infuriating greediness and erratic shooting but for me he’s an absolute breath of fresh air.
if you were to give him a lie detector test as to who was/is the greatest player in the history of association football, I’m positive not only would he say himself but the apparatus would reveal he didn’t think he was lying.
Watching Nani is almost like taking some form of drug, you can on occasions be whisked away to some magical awe-inspiring memorable place where you’ll witness wonders never seen before, while at times it can leave you curled up in the corner teeth gritted waiting for the effects to wear off.
I once heard someone who was Bipolar say: “the highs may the lows worth it” that’s exactly how I feel about Nani.
Last season Nani began the season somewhat indifferently -the missed penalty at Fulham a real shame- especially with the precedent it set in away draws- before he began grabbing games by the scruff of the neck -or even the ne’er regions and starting the “Nani show” as I referred to it.
In the Nani show, there was a saliva inducing partnership with Dimitar Berbatov, mesmerising runs and goals loads of assists and the usual Academy Award deserving performances in the name of acquiring free kicks.
It was the sort of show that made the first six or so months of the season all that more enjoyable.
Then at Anfield in March, the show was cancelled by an acne riddled bin dipper with an accent so Scouse it was actually indecipherable. To add insult to literal injury not even Nani’s greatest ever bravado theatrical performance could persuade Phil Dowd to issue what was a stonewall red card.
Since that fateful day, Nani could’nt get going again, despite an early physical recovery. The goals stopped, the assists became rarer and the mazy runs all but dried up. Such was Nani’s fall from grace, the once undroppable player, the certified match winner if ever there was one, was left out of the starting XI for the Champions league final.
In February such a decision would have seemed like an act of sabotage. Following the game at Anfield and subsequent dip in form it seemed shockingly logical.
That was then however and this is now. A new season brings new hope. Nani has already rediscovered his goal scoring touch with a cheeky chip in the game against Chicago- okay they’re poor ‘sub Unibond’ opposition but it’s a start.
Then there’s also the battle for places on the United flanks, a fight that the Portuguese winger has declared his readiness for.
Call it a hunch, but I’ve a feeling Nani’s ready to explode back onto the Premier League scene this coming season, like a caged greyhound who ‘s seen the hare go past twice and is now almost rabid with eagerness, I expect him to recapture his pre-Carragher form.
Whether he’s firing a shot into the third tier, attempting that fourth roll when he’s been fouled, arguing with team mates, or simply destroying the opposition -you’re always guaranteed some form of entertainment from the “sh*t Michael Jackson” as some rival fans call him.
Call me crazy, but I think this season could well be regarded as the Nani show, throughout.