Date: 27th August 2011 at 2:00am
Written by:
Arsene Wenger

Arsene finds out his half price coupon has run out

In an act of unbridled overindulgence Arsenal manager Arsene has embarked on a spending spree that’s shook the world of football to its very core.

This week has seen the Gunners boss throwing money around with wanton abandon.

An imaginary source close to the Arsenal boss said: “Arsene’s sick of all the talk of him being stingy so has decided to really push the boat out this week. He didn’t even wait till Orange Wednesdays to go to see the Inbetweeners film, he actually went on Monday- after 12pm!”

Not only has Wenger switched from Aldi to Waitrose, he’s even been spotted travelling by taxi instead of the bus and also only using teabags once.

The first signs Wenger was ‘splashing the cash’ came with reports he tipped a waitress earlier in the week.

Wenger even celebrated Arsenal’s Champions League victory over Udinese by buying all the players a coke on the plane ride home.

Other examples of Wenger’s excessiveness include switching his Sky package from Basic to Premium and changing his electric from a card meter to direct debit.

Whether Wenger’s new found philanthropy will extend to the transfer market remains to be seen but many Arsenal fans remain hopeful.

A source close to the club labeled Wenger’s recent spending: “reckless.”

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