Date: 8th September 2011 at 12:12am
Written by:
Rooney, Walcott and Young

Wazza and Young wished Walcott would leave them alone

If you had told me a week ago that Wayne would score twice in Bulgeria, I would have thought he was there on a stag do.

This trebled his goal tally in 14 games for and joined the magical ’ competitive goals for England’ club.

Wales won. You heard right. WALES WON! Their win against Montenegro was their first competitive win since 2009. This also means they have more points this season than Arsenal.

In truth, the Welsh should have had at least one more point. However, an early contender for miss of the season by Rob Earnshaw meant they had to settle with just the three points.

Scotland were denied a win by a dive Tom Daley would be proud of. Their draw against the Czech Republic pretty much ended their qualification hopes. Only wins against Liechtenstein and Spain, with a Czech Republic slip up, will be enough.

Iceland, famous for their erupting volcanoes, may be about to get another. It is believed Roy Keane is close to agreeing to be their manager, if he ever turns up.

Christiano has been at it again. Teasing United fans. Just like an ex girlfriend who keeps on saying she wants you back. She will never leave that Spanish waiter though and probably already has Chlamydia.

The Arsenal curse has struck again, with Jack Wilshere and Thomas Vermaelen both out for at least a month. Arsene Wenger has banned all mirrors, ladders and black cats from the training ground.

Having failed to nail down an East Midlands accent, there were that Steve McClaren was about to quit as boss of Nottingham Forest. He has now employed Tommy Saxondale as his voice coach and expects to be ready to go in 4 weeks.

Paolo Di Cano was in the news again after having a pitch side bust up with Leon Clarke. Having only been at the club for 11 days, Clarke was told by Di Canio that he would never play for the club again. Wayne Bridge has offered him some support.

And finally, Gary Cook claims his email account was infiltrated after an email was mistakenly sent to the Mother of Nedum Onuoha, poking fun at her having cancer. This is not the first time something like this has happened. In 2009, Cook claimed his mobile phone was infiltrated after agreeing to pay £24,000,000 for Joleon Lescott.

Fancy a trip to see United in an executive box? Make a bet with Bet188 and not only will they refund your bet if you lose, but you’ll also go into a prize draw to win 2 tickets to Bolton v United in Bolton’s Platinum Lounge!