Date:30th October 2011 at 11:37am
Written by:

Give us a kiss babes

Last weekend was really bad. We all know it, there was a result that shocked the world. A result that was as surprising as it was wrong. A result that people will not forget.

That’s right, Rory Bremner was voted off Strictly Come Dancing. Apart from that, no result of any importance happened last weekend.

Mr nice guy, John Terry, is taking up the back pages, again. It would seem, that, apparently, he racially abused Anton Ferdinand during Chelsea’s 1-0 loss against QPR on Sunday. He quickly moved to deny that any such thing occurred and that him and Anton were best mates in the dressing room afterwards.

However, Anton denied that any peace was made, and QPR complained to the FA. The police are also investigating the incident. John Terry says he plans to clear his name and prove to everybody that he is not a racist. It is thought, that he is planning on shagging Salomon Kalou’s girlfriend, to prove this.

Chelsea were dealt a blow this week, in their plans to buy the freehold to Stamford Bridge. It is thought, that if they had managed to buy the freehold, that it would be the start of Chelsea moving to a bigger, better stadium. Chelsea didn’t tell us how they planned on filling this new stadium, but that doesn’t matter now.

Shocking news this week from the Manchester City camp. It would seem, that shockingly, Owen Hargreaves has picked up an injury. It would seem that it is only a minor injury, so should only sideline him for one to two years. Hargreaves blames the Manchester United medical team.

This weekend saw, probably, the game of the season so far. Chelsea lost 5-3 to Arsenal at Stamford Bridge. John Terry had a disaster, much to the delight of 99% of the population. It would seem that Arsenal have now turned a corner, but is it too late?

Manchester United beat Everton this weekend in closely fought match. The only goal of the game was scored by Hernandez. Liverpool beat West Brom 2-0, Manchester City only scored three, with a 3-1 win against Wolves and Mario Balotelli has managed to go a week, without burning something down.

And finally. Arsenal staged their AGM this week. However, the start was delayed by 30 minutes while someone tried to find spoons for the coffee. Apparently, there’s no silverware at Arsenal.