Cultural differences. You will have heard this a lot over the past few weeks.
Many believe it to be an acceptable excuse for Luis Suarez racially abusing Patrice Evra. Having first claimed nothing was said, he then admitted saying something that’s OK to say in Spain and/or Uruguay.
I have therefore decided to take a look at some of the things that other Premier League footballers could do, then use the excuse of ‘Cultural Differences’ in their defence.
Tim Howard; In The United States of America, it is perfectly acceptable, and legal, for people to own and carry a gun with them. Tim Howard could therefore carry a hand gun out on to the pitch with him. He could leave it visible, as a warning to any striker silly enough to come near the penalty area. The Everton fans could chat ‘Tim Timmini, Tim Timmini, Tim Tim Tat-oo, We’ve got Tim Howard and he will shoot you!’ This would be fine, as its acceptable in America.
Angel Rangel; The legal age of consent in Spain in 13. I’ll leave it at that.
Michael Essien; There is no legal drinking age in Ghana. Therefore, Michael Essien could hand out cases of Stella to Chelsea’s Under 13’s at Christmas and watch the carnage unfold.
Robin Van Persie; In his homeland, it is perfectly acceptable to smoke weed in coffee shops. This means, over here, he could walk in to a Starbucks, order a Gingerbread Latte, pull out a spliff and get higher than Manchester City’s wage bill.
Vincent Kompany; Incest is legal in Belgium. So, Vincent Kompany could marry his mother. Knowing Premier League footballers, he would probably then divorce her and then marry his Sister. This would be fine though.
Nemanja Vidic; In Serbia, people drive on the right hand side. This means that Vidic would be allowed to drive down the M61, the wrong way. Nobody would dare stop Vidic anyway, and I imagine the traffic parting like the red sea, but if anyone did complain – Cultural Differences.
John Arne Riise; In certain parts of Liverpool, well, most of it, it is perfectly acceptable to wear shell-suits while sporting a dodgy hair-do. If he rocked up to training at Fulham like this, he could blame it on Cultural Differences, after spending a few years in Liverpool.
We simply can not allow the excuse of ‘Cultural Differences’ as a defence for unacceptable behaviour. If we did, where would it stop? If John Terry is found guilty, then he could use the same excuse. He could say that he grew up listening to rap music, where language like that is common place. Would we allow that as an excuse?