Date: 13th January 2012 at 9:57pm
Written by:
Mario Balotelli

Mario - one very lonely lad

More bad news for Liverpool football club this week, after it was reviled that Stuart Downing had been arrested on suspicion of assaulting his ex. Police say that he was helpful in assisting them with their enquiries. Downing is thought to be delighted with his first assist of the season.

Manchester City lost again this week. Their loss against Liverpool makes it two losses on the bounce.

Alternatively, Manchester City ‘morally’ drew against Liverpool. Coupled with their ‘moral’ victory in the derby, on Sunday, its been an OK week for Manchester City.

Alternatively, its been an amazing week for Manchester City. In Micha Richard’s head, Manchester City beat Liverpool 5-0, with Richards getting a hat-trick, in front of an impressed Fabio Capello. Coupled with the victory, in his head, against Manchester United, things cant get much better at The Etihad.

The protracted transfer of Gary Cahill, from Bolton to Chelsea is still dragging on. It is thought that his contract demands are holding things up. Rumour has it that he wants £100,000 a week, and a promise that John Terry will stay away from his girlfriend. Neither have been agreed.

It would seems as though Ravel Morrison could be on his way out of Old Trafford. With Sir Alex Ferguson calling his wage demands ‘excessive’ and Newcastle ready to pounce, it looks as though his time here is coming to an end. There was an unfounded rumour that he was on his way due to stealing Rio Ferdinand’s watch from the dressing room. I knew this was untrue. I seriously doubt Ravel’s ability to tell the time. What would he want with a watch?

It was Deja Vu this week, after Robbie Keane signed for the club he’s ‘always supported’, Aston Villa, on a short term loan deal. He is now only one team away, from a full house, in Teams Robbie Keane Supported As A Boy Bingo.

The Carlos Tevez comedy show still goes on. With Pato staying at AC Milan, it is thought that they will not be able to afford Tevez. It would seem that QPR could now be an option for Tevez. Well, London is 45 minutes closer to Argentina, than Manchester is.

And finally. Mario Balotelli decided to stop off at a college this week, to pop in and use the toilet. When questioned about it, he said that he was in shock. Apparently, he doesn’t normally see so many people in one place, at the same time.



2 responses to “City Lose Again, Downing Gets Nicked, Mario Goes For A P*ss: Weekly News Round-up”

  1. Saul says:

    Pathetic ramblings of a glory hunting man u supporter.

  2. vance says:

    hahaha, bit harsh on the city front but pretty funny all round.