Date: 21st March 2013 at 12:39pm
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Rio's spider with a big head joke failed to amuse FA chiefs.

Rio’s “spider with a big head” joke failed to amuse FA chiefs.

The Football Association look set to investigate Rio Ferdinand’s decision to get on a plane and fly to a foreign country during his time off from Manchester United.

According to sources that may or may not have any connection to anyone involved, the FA are said to be fuming at the shocking revelation that the United defender has disobeyed no one whatsoever by travelling abroad and relaxing in his own free time.

A bloke selling the Big Issue near Lancaster Gate said: “I saw a few ‘suits’ going in and out of the FA’s headquarters this morning, one of them was on his phone and had brown hair. It was obvious from the way they were walking that they were angry about Rio Ferdinand.” 

Ferdinand risks the FA’s wrath after declaring he couldn’t appear for England in the forthcoming games against San Marino and Montenegro due to his strict training regime at United. News that his training regime allows him to relax on his days off and not actually play football has shook the very fabric of international football to its core.

During his time in Qatar Ferdinand will not only visit a football academy but also act as a pundit for Friday’s England game with San Marino, a move seen as a massive slap in the face to Roy Hodgson who’d reportedly asked the United defender to sit next to him on the touchline.

Sepp Blatter was thought to be calling for a lifetime ban for Ferdinand and a pay rise for Cristiano Ronaldo, while John Terry was reportedly shocked that Rio would leave his wife unattended for any length of time.

Peter Herbert is due to issue a statement blaming racism for the entire affair.


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