Date: 25th May 2011 at 3:48pm
Written by:

Mike Bassett

Could Bassett be the next man for the Stamford Bridge hot seat

The latest news from the Roman Abramovich camp is that the Russian Billionaire is preparing a move for former England boss Mike Bassett.

 Abramovich was impressed after watching the DVD of Bassett’s World Cup campaign which saw the former Norwich man mastermind England’s route to the semi finals.

 The Chelsea owner was particularly  amazed with Bassett’s revolutionary Christmas Pudding formation and believes it could lead to success at Stamford Bridge.

 A make believe source close to the club said: “Roman’s keen to go with someone who has a little bit more experience of the English game, than previous Chelsea bosses.”

 “The fact that Bassett delivered the Mr Clutch trophy and was able to ride such a media storm in Brazil before he came good also impressed Roman.”

 The Chelsea owner has come in for criticism lately for sacking manager Carlo Ancelotti the season after the Italian delivered the club’s first double.

 However, after finishing nine points behind the worst United side in the history of association football, the powers that be at Stamford Bridge have had enough.

 Abramovich is hoping Bassett could prove the key to stopping United’s dominance and the Russian is prepared to offer the new boss a £200 million transfer kitty to bring in new players.

 Our source said: “Roman wants Bassett to try and bring in the likes of Kevin “Tonka” Tonkinson and Rufus Smalls.”

 “Other targets include Jess Bhamra, Jimmy Grimble and Billy the Fish.”

 The footballing world will be shocked with these latest developments, as it was expected the likes of Frank Rijkaard and Marco Van Basten were the chief candidates for the job.

 When it was pointed out that Mike Bassett was actually a fictional character our source simply said: “his record speaks for itself.”

 Imogen Thomas was unavailable for comment.



19 responses to “Chelsea Set to Appoint Former England Boss as Manager”

  1. A lot of precious Chelski fans here, who could do better things with their time like write to their chairman and ask him to run their club properly.

    That way, they might have a chance of becoming a dominant force for a sustained period of time…rather than only winning trophies 50% of the time and being a comedy club the rest.

    Cheer up you sour faced corporates.

  2. baguru says:

    You played the least shit in a season full of teams playing shit and u want to be acknowledged for it. I can’t wait for Barcelona to put u back in your place

    • Justin Mottershead says:

      Carry on being bitter son, I’ll just enjoy our 3rd CL final in 4 years.
      “Viva John Terry!”