Date: 6th July 2011 at 10:10am
Written by:

Ravel Morrison

The United youngster has plumbed new depths

In yet another disgusting display of unbridled arrogance, career criminal and occasional footballer Ravel “G-Dog” Morrison donated money to the Royal Children’s Hospital yesterday.

Morrison was in court after a judge who’d previously sentenced Morrison to a £600 fine, for the despicable act of rowing with his girlfriend, realised that he actually had no legal grounds to do so.

A source I made up earlier this morning told me:

“People like Morrison make me sick, does he really think that giving money to a kid’s hospital is acceptable behaviour? He should be sent to live on an island somewhere with Cher Lloyd and that bloke from Changing Rooms.”

The comically named Judge Finestein –and I’m not actually making that bit up – had issued Morrison with a fine when it turned out he had no right to do so.
The are reportedly livid that a judge is letting the fact he hasn’t got the power to do something, stop him from punishing Manchester United as it’s never stopped them before.

The Manchester Evening News took time out from running petitions to keep Carlos at City to report:

“The fine was replaced with an absolute discharge, allowing the referral order to continue.

“District Judge Finestein said: R;Because the sentence was a genuine mistake, I think I would have the power to pass a different type of sentence.”

“He warned Morrison – one of United’s brightest hopes who scored to help his team win the FA Youth Cup in May – that the referral order was now back in place and he would face jail if he breached it. “

Morrison’s decision to donate the returned fine of £600 to charity is the latest in a long line of vile acts from so-called United ‘stars.’

Only last season was rightly chastised in the media for having the temerity to visit five year Jack Marshall in the hospital while the youngster was being treated for a brain tumour.

A spokesman for the Charitable United Need To Stop organisation said: “This latest action by another Manure player is yet another example of why society is ruined.”