Date: 13th April 2011 at 9:44pm
Written by:
Sylvester Stallone Everton

"Yo Adrian we drew with Reading!"

There are certain fads among the celebrity elite that seem to come and go quicker than a Manchester City title challenge.

Taking up yoga, vegetarianism adopting babies from Africa have all been popular among the special famous people that don’t have to wait inline at the bar like the rest of us. The latest in vogue activity for the rich and famous is supporting a football team.

When I say ‘supporting’ I mean it in the prawn sandwich eating loosest term of the word, not attending matches or actually giving a toss, just affiliating themselves with the most popular team they can think of or the one that’s going to get them more followers on twitter.

The past few years have seen an increase in so-called celebs letting everyone who’ll listen, and even those who won’t which team they ‘love’ and cannot bear to see lose, well at least feel a trifle tad disappointed when those beastly other teams beat them, so much so they have to have another glass of Moet to ease the pain.

I’m sure I can’t be the only fan sick of hearing part-time celebrity tosspots getting involved in the game we all love just because it seems like the ‘cool’ thing to do. Don’t get me wrong there are exceptions Alastair Campbell is arguably as big a Burnley fan as anyone and certainly hasn’t started following them to tap into any zeitgeist.

The problem is for many celebrity fans hating United also becomes a populist trait ,they quickly adopt, regardless of which team it is they’re supposed to be following.

Here’s my top ten list of celebrity fans who should stick to following the cricket.

10. Lord Alan Sugar. Spurs. “You’re fired!” With those two words the man formerly most famous for taking over Spurs then suing his own manager became one of the nation’s most recognisable faces. Sugar seems oblivious to the fact he’s about as popular at White Hart Lane as Sol Campbell and has now tried to reinvent himself via the social network of twitter as some sort of die hard Spurs fan. His arguments with that other celebrity ‘fan’ Piers Morgan remind me of two Alan Partridges trying to act cool by making football references at their nephews party. Do us a favour Sugar and stick to pointing at idiots who didn’t sell enough paprika crisps for your liking.

9. Uri Geller. Reading. Okay so he may actually be an Exeter fan, as he was once their chairman, although it’s quite possible even he doesn’t know which team he supports. The man who made his name by bending cutlery took credit for creating “psychic energy” which helped Reading in their promotion push. Then Reading boss Alan Pardew was unimpressed with the spoon botherers comments, and said via the club’s website:

“I was amazed that he could try to get on the back of our success. His publicist has done a good job, but I think it was a disgrace – as soon as we get a bit of joy, thanks to all the hard work and efforts of my staff and my players, he suddenly comes out of the blue and tries to claim the limelight. The less I say about it the better, although I’ve said enough already!” Without a doubt the most bizarre footballing spat I’ve ever read.

8. David Baddiel. Chelsea. There was a time, many many years ago that Baddiel used to be part of not one but two very funny shows. There was the Mary Whitehouse Experience which was one of the more original and hilarious comedy programmes around, then came Fantasy Football League which was for a short time, a genuinely enjoyable show. Since those heady days Baddiel seems to have disappeared up his own ego. The nadir was Baddiel & Skinner Unplanned which was about as funny as Watership Down.

It’s not just that Baddiel’s not funny it’s the fact that like the team he supports he has an arrogance and is genuinely out of touch with the average football fan so much it makes his everyday football fan persona, seem about as realistic as the plot of Hollyoaks.

7. Delia Smith. Norwich. Fair play to Smith she put her money where her mouth is by buying shares in the club she supports. It’s unfortunately her mouth that got her into trouble when in a drunken stupor she decided to motivate the crowd at half-time on the microphone in the game against Manchester City by shouting “where are you” at the crowd. Not exactly what you expect nor want from your shareholders.

Somehow I think the Glazers trying the same approach at Old Trafford may result in a riot.

Continued on page two.

4 responses to “Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrity Football Fans”

  1. Wooderbeen says:

    Re: The Gallaghers… “They loved Manchester that much they now both live in London.” Too… much… irony… United… London… cockneys… arrrggghhh!

    Agreed with the rest mind you, especially numero uno.

  2. Scott says:

    Hahahahahahaha! Good form Justin, good form.

    Great read!

  3. marky boy says:

    Def the gallaghers and samuel jackson

  4. says:

    I wish Jamie carragher luck in his next job