Chelsea striker Fernando Torres has given the club a huge lift by requesting not to be considered in the starting XI for tommorow’s crunch clash.
A made up source close to the club said:
“El Zero’s sat down with Ancelotti and they’ve both decided that as this is a game Chelsea need to win- and therefore obviously score goals, it’s best if he sits this one out.”
Torres has been in scintilating form since his £50 million move to the Bridge with some superb running and applauding the fans when he’s been subbed.
His recent goal against the mighty West Ham means that Roman Abramovich is now laughing in the faces of those who questioned spending such a huge amount on a player who’s looked abysmal for the best part of nine months.
Torres display against Spurs last week, where he was so quick and nimble no one actually realised he was a playing, until he was substituted to give Chelsea a chance of scoring, is another example of how £50 million is looking like money well spent.
Torres latest act of benevolence will only endear him even more to the Chelsea faithful who’ve quickly warmed to the former Liverpool striker’s hair do and warming up technique.
News that Torres won’t be starting has already dealt a devastating blow to United who were hoping to use their one man advantage. The fact the United defence will have to deal with potential goalscorers has thrown Sir Alex Ferguson’s plans into chaos.
A imaginary source close to the club said:
“All week the United team have been practicing playing against ten men or just with a traffic cone as an opponent.
“With Torres unlikely to start it means Sir Alex will have to abandon plans of playing three men in defence or even giving Rio Ferdinand the afternoon off.”
Rumours that Torres would be utilised in a half time oranges distribution role were described by a Chelsea source as “ridiculous”.
Absolute bollocks.Do u think SAF wud be so delluded to fall for this???Nyc try but next tym play this sort of tricks with ur grandmother.
absolute trash, not even funny.
Who has got a sense of humour byepass?
Read the detail……starting with the author of the article.
Oliver Hole!!!!! Surely thats Oliver Holt, that ‘loveable’ and annoying journalist who you could not but wish to keep slapping across his smug moosh.
Its Justin’s satire. lmao
This website sucks. I’m blocking it
Nobody asked you to post “Blocking it” WOW!Its like you are attracted to winners.
poo poo ka ka
mcshattery
coward!
Heaven’s above you can articulate a comment well!
I am sure RFFH, will welcome you back!
Absolute trash of an article. Not even funny.
Very relevant though dont you think…£50 million down the pan?I bet you wish you had signed Javier Hernandez eh?
SON F A BITCH MANU AND ITS FANS
History dear.Ta Ta
funniest thing I have heard!Especially as it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true !
@Paul spot on…Its a bit fun….a laugh.
Its called banter.